Following the path to happiness
and one fulfilled life.
Not that there is any particular destination,
but when you’ve chosen the right setting
and show up intent on being fully immersed in the experience,
then when you find your heart glowing and content,
you know you’ve arrived.
#chasingupwardslopes
Once upon a time, on my own crazy journey through life, I woke up to a startling realization: that all the hard work I’d been putting in to achieve the things I thought would best serve me – that while it had certainly brought a fair share of love, light, and reward, so much of it had all contributed to pains, aches, burnout, and anxiety that I felt on a daily basis.
I was shaken to the core. If all that I had thought life was about had led to this state, then what on Earth was I doing here?
There had to be something else. I knew it because I had experienced it, if only for fleeting moments. The problem was that I had turned my back on it again and again as I put my head down and focused on the things that I had come to believe were important.
But these things… perhaps they weren’t all so important after all.
Perhaps what was more important was helping to address the chaos that was the world around me.
Perhaps what was more important was helping to settle the chaos that was within me.
From this space of awareness, I took one simple action: I set an intention to cultivate that which better serves me, lifting me up and filling my world with peace and light, while simultaneously being aware of the deep darkness that persists in our world, doing what I am able to help heal and support my own self, others, and our dear planet.
Two sides of a single existence as we’re here dancing through this one elaborate and tortuous life, doing what we can to fulfill our own needs and desires while balancing the realities that exist around us – those that come with their own versions of pains, hopes, dreads, and dreams.
All-the-while, sitting with an everlasting potential to bring more love in.
–
When starting out on a new journey, the first step often involves a letting go as we ask ourselves what is not serving our path forward.
For embracing my own new path I was called selfish, a title I wore knowing that it is in learning to better love and support our own selves that we become capable of bringing more peace, light, and love into this world of ours.
Here at Upward Slopes, I invite you to do the same: to take your next step forward by taking a pause, stepping away from the chaos of it all, and looking inward.
Inward – it’s a space that need not require any words, nor work, nor any nagging by you at all. Instead, all it needs is your attention, and it asks that you bring it here to this space fully.
It is from this quiet space where we find our deeper understanding, and it is a space from which we become capable of moving forward.
–
The path set forth from this intention was not one that I expected, but one that continues to unfold bringing wonderful surprises, difficult challenges, and a richer life.
The lessons that have unfolded on this path are plenty, and I can easily speak about them all day long. I do so in many of the posts, courses, and other offerings on this website.
As for a little look at the most important piece I’ve stumbled across:
Life is not about winning that race or climbing that mountain or achieving any specific goal you set for yourself. It is also not about achieving any definition of perfection (a fancy job title, a big & beautiful house, enlightenment, or however else you define success).
Instead, I’ve learned it’s about the path through which you do any of the above, along with all other more mundane aspects of the human experience.
It’s a path that, when taken with the right ingredients, unfolds as one beautiful experience after another.
And, along the way, maybe we’ll find that those things we were chasing after with all that clinging and tenacity, well perhaps we find them, say a dear hello, and continue onward
forever moving forward.
Ah, but what exactly are the right ingredients to this fulfilling path?
Hard Work and Accomplishing goals
There’s a belief instilled deeply inside of me, and it goes something like this:
“If I work hard enough, I can overcome anything.” In other words, “If I put my mind to it and put in the effort consistently, I can make it happen.”
This belief – it is one that has served me well… at least, when it comes to specific instances in my life. For example, I’ve run several ultramarathons, climbed many mountains, and have also led a handful of impressive sport climbs. I’ve also managed to get a B.S.E. and M.S. in Biomedical Engineering, work at a corporate job, and start my own company.
To accomplish these, it has been necessary to focus and work hard consistently, and when I’ve ticked off the accomplishments, it sure felt good.
But what happens when the dopamine wears off and the sense of accomplishment sails away?
And what happens when the next set of pushing leads to several injuries, mental and/or physical?
And what happens when you can’t get yourself back into the game because it doesn’t mean anything anymore?
I’ve spent a good chunk of my life pushing myself to overcome any sort of challenge I’ve faced, and here’s what I now know:
Sometimes in life, we have to put our heads down and get to work and do what needs to be done until it is done.
Other times, well, we need something different.
–
In 2020 I created Upward Slopes to help me get to the core of that this something different is. Along the way, the intention was never to throw out the old way of doing things (yes, I mean that approach where we put our heads down and keep pushing forward no matter what comes our way; what I refer to as the linear, masculine approach). Understand that this approach is one that has served us all to accomplish goals through hard work, and as I mentioned, often in life this approach serves us well as we work to overcome important challenges.
However, if the trials of the last couple of years have taught me anything, it’s that it is an over-emphasis on this traditional framework that has led us to the rather disastrous state of things in this modern world of ours.
As for the state of the world as I write this here at the beginning of 2022:
- our communities are hurting as marginalized individuals continue to be oppressed (and otherwise experience hatred)
- our communities are hurting as clear divisive lines prevent any sort of communication between parties
- our planet is hurting as species die out and our beautiful landscapes are ravaged for even more resources
- and, of course, our own selves, mind and body, are sick and worn down because we don’t have the time and space to give ourselves the rest and nourishment we need
These are the types of problems I think about every single day, and as I do, I’ll admit, I’m not exactly optimistic. The systems we have in place in this modern world are not working to address them, and because of how deeply these systems are embedded in our cultures, I’m afraid that the destruction will continue while we make little forward progress.
My mission here with Upward Slopes is to help us make forward progress
To do this, I believe we must do 3 things.
First, we have to take a step back, away from the linear, masculine, mind over matter mindset that has created the world we live in
Second, we have to learn how to take action aligned with – well, with that “something different” I was alluding to before.
Third, we have to learn to balance out how we use both of these approaches, and to do so as we work together to overcome the serious challenges our world faces.
If we can do this, then I think, perhaps, that we can come together to heal our world, including our own selves (body & mind), our communities, and our dear planet.
–
So, what exactly is that “something different?”
Instead of telling you what I think it is, perhaps we can try out a practice.
Practice
Note: Every time we engage in a practice, it is important to understand that you are completely free to make it your own. If you start to feel anxious or experience any real negative symptoms, modify the practice or release it altogether. Practices are here to help us, but they are not one-size-fits-all.
Step 1: Whatever you are doing (sitting or standing), take a moment to find your breath
- perhaps you can locate it as it enters through your nose and out your mouth; or perhaps you can find it as your chest expands and contracts
The idea here is not to control your breath, but instead to find it and witness it. Feel free to stay here, just witnessing, for several breaths
Step 2:
As you feel into your breath, now find your feet, or glutes (whatever is planted on the chair/ground). Feel into how you are supported by the ground beneath you. Take a few moments to breathe into this grounded space, feeling supported by the earth below you.
Step 3:
Now, take a few moments to work with your breath. Here are a couple of practices to try out:
A. Box Breathing
Inhale for 4 seconds
Hold your inhale for 4 seconds
Exhale for 4 seconds
Hold your exhale for 4 seconds
Repeat ~6 times, feeling free to extend or reduce that length of time as you see fit
B. A simpler version
Inhale for ~3 seconds
Exhale for ~ 6 seconds
Repeat, feeling free to extend or reduce the length of time as you see fit. The secret is to keep the exhale twice the length of the inhale
Step 4:
Feel into the space you have created within your own self. Does it feel roomier? Are you less anxious? Do you have more clarity? Is there some sort of information that is becoming clearer to you?
On my journey through life chasing upward slopes, I have found that moving forward takes a healthy dose of pushing and persevering as I put my head down and keep charging forward.
Often, though, along the way, I find myself in need of a pause:
- when I notice things becoming too much
- when I notice too much hapening at once
- when there is too much chaos and too little signal
- when I feelanxious, serious fatigue, or weakness
The secret in these moments is not to keep pushing. Instead, it is to pause, find my breath, create some space, and feel into the moment for what it is.
Perhaps this is all I needed – some space to gather myself before continuing the next steps.
Or, perhaps I realize that the path I was following is not safe nor getting me to where I need to be, at which point this becomes an excellent time to reassess and pick a new course.
Or, sometimes, I find that the path I’ve been following towards a goal I have set is not serving me at all, whatsoever, and I need to release it all so that I can fill my life with that which is more nourishing, peaceful, fulfilling, and bringing more light and love into this beautiful world of ours.
Chasing Upward Slopes
Perhaps that’s what it was really all about all along… bringing more light and love into this beautiful world of ours.
Through more space
Through more intention on healing
Through more mindful decisions