Note: This one is a follow-up post from 2020 – back when this remarkable area went up in smoke. Back then, as our own world was burning, I put together a post looking at how we can take the time to look at the painful things in life – not because it’s fun, but because that’s where we find important information that we can use to move forward.
Check out that first post over here
This past week I’ve been traveling – back to my old home in Arizona. It was my first time back to the Valley of the Endless Sun since I officially left mid last year and, I have to admit, there were a whole lotta feels going on.
I remember (to my surprise) feeling completely lit up as I drove the long descent down into the valley, tears streaming in my eyes when I saw the first sight of the saguaros I’ve missed so dearly.
Lots of joy and a whole lot of tears… that about wraps up the whole trip quite simply.
See, back there is a whole life I left behind me, and the weekend was full of beautiful reminders of the very best parts of it, including those that continue to blossom in life’s greatest ways.
But try as I may to keep my heart full of light, there seemed to me a constant distress at play in my heart.
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While on my trip, I was blessed with a beautiful sunny and 60s day to head out to my favorite AZ wilderness and, for the first time in many months, get in a full trail run.
The day was spectacular as I spent hours on the trails saying a friendly hello to all the desert plants I’ve missed dearly – especially to all the magnificent saguaro!
Best of all, I made it out to my favorite spot – a remote point that very few travel to, which meant I had the place to myself to sit and look out on one of my favorite views on our dear planet.
Yet, despite all the happiness I felt, there it was again – that darker side, the one that seems to be ever present these days, especially as the world continues to unfold new layers of darkness.
It was back in a time when I had decided to unravel my own life and, in a span of weeks, the entire world decided it too would initiate some drastic changes.
It was in those earliest days in 2020 when I first started to get in tune with the the balance with the light, as well as the darker side of things.
Out here in this land I feel the contrast deeply, especially since this wilderness, itself, happened to be burning intensely back in those days.
On this latest trip, I was elated to see the land healing. The black Earth that made up much of the land in 2020 was now sprouting back new life, and much of the life that had been threatened by the flames still stood tall.
Still, the signs of the earlier destruction were everywhere, and although the strong lines that marked areas that were burned had now faded, my own eyes could still see the contrast.
The land was healing, but it still had a long way to go.
As I wrote back in my original post on this land, when you’re out here, you have a certain choice:
- Do you choose to look at the blossoms and the greenery?
- Do you take the time to look right at the charred bones that remain and to listen in closely when it moves things inside of you?
Out here I do my best to focus on the greenery and blossoming flowers. They fill my heart up, and I know that joy and hope are essential ingredients to a life full of light.
And I have got to say, I am so ready to live it all up dancing endlessly in the light!
Still, as I wrote in those earlier days, if we are going to get anywhere near that, we must continue the practice that is sitting with the way things are, exactly as they are and not just for how we wish them to be.
And when that involves a burnt line clear cut on one of nature’s most spectacular monuments, then so be it.
Because it’s here in these moments, big and small, that I know the answers to the paths forward hang most truly.
It’s days like these where it becomes clear to me why I continue to head out there on the trails, putting myself into tough situations in beautiful places – to learn life’s lessons balancing the thin line between the joy we seek and the harsh realities of existence.
It’s all out there for us to take a good look at, let in what needs to be let in, and continue chasing after all that lights up our own hearts.
May we all continue to fill our hearts with hope for brighter days, while continuing to have the strength to look at those things that hurt deeply, for they have knowledge and wisdom in there, along with answers for how we continue to move forward unraveling new layers.