Skeletons
I wasn't sure of what lured me out here on this cold, spring night. It isn't considered usual behavior to leave warmth of one's home nestled beneath the mountains, and to venture out into dark unknown. But I'd been in the habit, of late, of unusual behavior: that which veers from the common path and asks the seeker step into territory unknown.
I'd walked so many paths well-trodden and had found myself deplete, lacking any sense of meaning or direction. It was time to do things differently. I needed to do things differently. If not to heal the ailments that plagued my own inner world, but at least to change the face of the scarred land I loved.
Perhaps, if I walked this unknown path, I could learn of a way to heal it all; to transform not only my inner charred landscape, but the land of the ponderosa skeletons as well.
We Are The Forest
I founded We Are The Forest in 2022 based on a series of experiences walking (or, in my case, often running) the trails of my backyard canyons and mountains. This forest lives here in the humble Jemez Mountains of Northern New Mexico. Here, forming the base of the Rocky Mountains, the pine trees of the mountains mingle with the high desert, forming a unique landscape of hardy ponderosa pine that have learned to resist the dry conditions that frequent this area.
But then came the humans, and our behavior that changes the face of the planet in the extreme.
Between climate change and the regular fires that show up in this area, the forest I call home is largely gone. While it is true that much of the ponderosa forest I love still remains, the dark reality is that hundreds of thousands of acres have gone up in smoke in my lifetime, and as I have personally witnessed, these forests do not return.
Instead, a desertification process has set in, wherein the ponderosa forests are being replaced by shrub oak and locusts. The aspen are some of the first trees to return, but they do slowly (and they face their own battles, currently in the form of mass tent caterpillar carnage).
Altogether, the ecosystem is one that is in dismay. The pine trees of old (namely, the ponderosas) are leaving in great swaths, and in their place is a big old question mark. What is to happen to this land? Will it change into a landscape that resembles the high desert (one sprinkled with juniper and pinon pine?). Or, will some version of the old ponderosa forest return?
For now, what lives is a sort of purgatory as the deeply traumatized land recuperates from the fires. But now, it's a quarter century later, and it is time for something to be done.
There is hope, and it comes through the form of us humans
I was young when the bulk of the forest around town was burned down. After the fire, a mass effort was put into place to regrow. As I have grown up, these ponderosas, too, have grown, such that most tower high above me and are producing saplings of their own!
This regeneration effort shows promise, but the effort is but a small patchwork across this mountainside.
It is the skeletons of ponderosas, combined with the youthful patchwork of young ones, that called me in and ask that something now be done.
I returned home at the age of 27. Living through the Covid pandemic, I'd been shown the disastrous consequences of humans living out of alignment and incapable of being grounded, centered, and connected to a cause. Instead, what I witnessed was a scattered humanity,...
In a lot of ways, Covid brought us together as we recognzized many values that had been lost. But as the pandemic lifted, I witnessed humanity go back to the same old narratives: living stories of hyper-consumerism, division, and disconnection from Nature.
But the forest would continue speaking to me, asking that I do not go back to the way things were.
Previous to the Covid Pandemic, I'd been working in Tempe, Arizona as a Biomedical Engineer for a large (hell, giant) medical device company. The work was fine, but it certainly worked to show me another disconnect between the way we treat disease, and the way that corporate America profits from it.
Meanwhile, I dreamed of a different way of being for humanity. One where we lived in connection with our bodies: caring for self as we took care with good nutrition and active lifestlyes. If we could change our patterns and relationship to our bodies, I knew we would largely rid ourselves of the grand mass of disease of which I, as a Biomedical Engineer, was paid to address superficially.
But any look into nutrition begs that we expand our model outside the human individual. For the nutirtional value of a food is directly tied to the land on which it is produced (else, the machinery on which it is synthesized... ugh). It is through my work studying nutrition and researching metabolic dysfunction/disease that I first learned that any model that focuses on human health cannot do so in isolation. It must be done in connection to the Earth, itself.
By the time the Covid pandemic rolled around, I was getting burned out on the human health model. Yes, it is deeply important work, but I couldn't find any path forward that could truly help individuals in the way my heart desired.
When the forest started speaking, I recognized it was time to shift paths.
I could no longer ignore the deep, festering root system underlying the wide breadth of ailment in our world. And, I need to create, for my own self, a model and platform that could support real action that could help us heal in a truly holistc way:
- mentally and emotionally
- physically
- ecologically
I created We Are The Forest as a space to explore truly holistic and collective paths of healing. Here, I offer you the fruit of my labors, along with an opportunity to join me in the co-creation of this path that leads us forward ever-more into a fully healed, coherent biological web of life:
- one that values connection as well as health
- one that values true freedom, including the ability to live our lives in full expression
- one that values community, including our ability to come together for great cause
- one that values Earth, herself
To Re-Grow an Entire Forest!
The vision came to me in a sort of shamanic journey. No, absolutely zero drugs were involved: just an intention to journey inward as I connected with where I could best show up to serve this Planet Earth.
I had held ideas for planting trees, but the thoughts were always in the form of one or two.
When the vision came to me of entire mountainsides once more covered in ponderosa, I laughed at the ridiculous nature of the proposal. Certainly the task would be impossible, otherwise it would have been done by now. I mean, certainly other humans would have had the idea and jumped at the opportunity to reforest.
After a few conversations with those directly connected to the use of these lands, the story showed up differently. Why had forests not been planted in full? Simply, because humans had not decided that it was worthy enough of the effort.
Although this answer broke my heart, it opened up a hopeful possibility. Well then, if I decided it was worthy of my efforts, could not a hold forest be regrown?
First steps... it begins with the soil
The first year I attempted to grow my own trees, I collected a group of pine cones, painstakingly removed the ponderosa seeds, and planted them in dirt from my backyard.
I did not receive any seedlings this year. Instead, my dirt turned hard as rock in response to water, and I learned my first lesson.
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The second year, I collected even more seeds, found fertile soil from my father's compost (thanks dad!), and was able to grow 5 seedlings. Unfortunately, mold took hold of four of them, leaving one lone seedling for all my efforts after two years.
Fortunately, this was still just the beginning.
Embodied Activism: A new form of service in connection to that which we seek to heal
I never wanted to be an activist. There is something about the desire to be a savior, or else, to push my vision onto others and demand that they fund my cause, that just never resonated.
Why should my service to the world match the same patriarchal narrative that has caused so much harm to one another and this Earth?
I believe much of this viewpoint comes from my time in the Biomedical field, pushing so hard to come up with solutions which, ultimately, don't address root cause. Instead, all it really does is perpetuate a system that, yea works for some good, but also perpetuates harm in a way that I just could not come to terms with.
I recoginized that if I took this same patriarchal framework to my forest project and demanded that this land receive the fruits of my efforts, that this was not truly heart-centered work, but more like an ego-driven plan to make myself feel better about the harm humanity has done.
Get the difference here?
Yes, it makes sense that we have this drive to heal and solve problems. But do our efforts come from a space of wanting to make ourselves feel better and make ourselves feel special? Or, are our efforts truly aligned with what the land is asking for?
The key to this is our ability to listen.
Listening to the way the land responds to our actions is a great first step on the embodied activist's path. In listening, we are connected to the subject of our inquiry. We are not forcing something upon it, but instead, work hand-in-hand as co-creators.
I realized that my task was not to force my activism on this land, but instead to offer my hands in co-creation with this land. What exactly this meant, I didn't fully understand. But I believed that pursuing this project would lend itself as an opportunity for the Earth, herself, to teach me.
Dear Earth, lead me out of our toxic, patriarchal patterns and into a more balanced connection with you; with all of life! In this way, may we heal in connection to another:
- healing our wounds, those caused by our own lives lived in an imbalanced, often toxic patriarchal narrative
- healing our forests (and all ecosystems) in alignment with that which truly serves these lands
Joining Forces: Building community as we regenerate our Earth's landscapes
Current Projects
My work on my own forest regeneration project continues in its third season as I do the following:
- Continue to expand my ability to grow my own ponderosa pine seedlings
- Continuing the learning process that is growing saplings from the soil/roots and beyond
- Creating the foundation for the ability to one day grow ponderosa pine seedlings in large volume
- Connect with professionals who currently do a much better job than myself to source
- Sourcing pine seedlings to plant in upcoming seasons to officially begin replanting
- Honoring the seedlings that are currently growing out there... because I know I am not alone in these efforts
Ways to join in
Currently, the best way to connect with my growing community is as follows:
- Join me in Circle! This is our community space to come together over Zoom, hold the collective intention for healing this Earth, and do our own embodiment work to be better able to show up
- Join the Newsletter!
- Support the cause directly
- Send me an email! Let us connect directly! If you have a similar project and would love support, I would be happy to have you on my Podcast as we discuss our creative endeavors regenerating this Planet Earth in a grounded, heart-centered way